DON'T WEAR THEM CLOTHES GIRL, YOU'LL HAVE A NIGHT YOU DON'T WANNA REMEMBER

Let’s try to make this simple for those who are provoked to raise an eyebrow and let the tongue out at the slightest hint of a bare leg. Next time we go partying, we’ll wear back breaking Victorian gowns that cover till the ankle and muffle till throat. What we’ll help you do is keep your arms where they belong, below your stinking pits and your tongues inside your filthy mouths.

OK? NO?

You’ll still think we’re out to provoke you? Just because we’re NOT showing, hence, leaving so much to your imagination that you can’t wait to find out?

Then what would you suggest we wear? A robe? a burqa? a bedsheet?...we’ll wear anything if it keeps us from getting molested by 20 of you on the streets..but we don’t think even those would help.

We’re guessing you’ll draw a DUH!!! at that and say,


 “Baby whatever you wear, don’t make the effort, we’ll undress you in a second and think you’re WANTING for us to do whatever we want to do with you, so why waste so much money on skirts, coz the length don’t matter.

Because you’re partying and having a good time, we’ll define how much fun you can have, and even if you don’t want to we don’t care. Coz we’re not taking NO from you! You can drink, you can smoke, you can dance, you can laugh, you can make pouty faces and look into the camera OR you can work till late in the night, have a family to go back to, a simple happiness to live. Doesn’t matter what you do and why you do it, when we’re hungry and we want it, we SHALL NOT DISCRIMINATE.

We are proud citizens of an egalitarian society, doesn’t matter that when we were in school, we used to go quiet when the pledge came to that ‘sister’ thingie, please understand that in our hearts we felt it.  Our morally upright, socially conscious being still feels that you in your skirt have the power to ruin the image of the motherland. When the president can go to work covered from head to toe with only a bespectacled face showing, what gives you the right to bare an arm or leg or two? Doesn’t matter that she’s nearing 90, you should look up to her. Dress like her and maybe we’ll not get provoked. We’re so quick to titillate that your sartorial shortcomings can send us to heaven and back.

When your male friends have a fight at a bar we’ll quickly beat them to death or if they run away with their tails between their legs, we’ll take our anger out on you. You see, we work shitty jobs, get off to women we can never touch, are poorly paid(relative though that is), pretend to provide for a family we don’t care about and basically are just living. So when you come around, in that little skirt of yours, smelling of promise, HOW can we contain the joy of such divine generosity?

 So what we do is, we call some more such frustrated beings and we feast on your juicy self in a collective head rush of hormones, anger, lust and a knowing regret of the mortality of this moment.

And the best thing is, we have videos shot of it, so we can relive the joy over and over again, we have passersby cheering us on silently, we make a grand celebration of it. Watch while we make you a film star! The more you protest, the madder we get, the more your scream, the more we want to hit you, so flail your legs all you want, the production value just gets better.

Our communal desire knows no limits. In lust we believe, in lust we breath, in lust we shall die

We’ll get away with this, yet again, just you watch!”

Yours devouringly,
Amar Jyoti Kalita aka Bond

                                                             Don't I look AWESOME??!!